Jason and I have been married for 6 1/2 years. Our journey to adoption has been a long and bumpy road. I have kept our story fairly private but have decided that although sharing is vulnerable, it is also vital to human connection. I hope that our story will inspire others facing various challenges. We started trying to extend our family as soon as we married. I just assumed we would produce a sweet baby right away. We soon learned that Jason had some fertility challenges which we were told would quickly heal after a small same day procedure.
Unfortunately that surgery didn’t go as planned. Long story short, Jason had 4 more surgeries that followed over the next several years. I also learned that I have some of my own fertility challenges and had surgery as well. We moved forward with fertility treatments that were unsuccessful. All along the way we experienced financial hardships and waves of grief and loss which were heartbreaking. Most recently Jason had a hernia repair that was related to previous surgeries and tears in his abdomen. We were nervous for the surgery, especially given Jason’s history with negative responses.
When the doctor came to update me on how surgery went, he explained that Jason needed extra anesthesia to fall asleep. He talked about how Jason seemed nervous in the operating room but that the surgery went well. Upon entering the post-op room, Jason was moaning and groaning loudly. When Jason first noticed me he was in awe and began to shower me with compliments, including telling me that I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. After about 20 minutes, I finally got the smarts to take out my camera and video tape his sweet reaction. Yes it was real and it reminded me of the many past experiences where he acted similar. I wasn’t worried about Jason not knowing who I was since he had been given an extra large dose of medication. I knew that as the medication wore off his memory would return. I feel Jason’s sweet side is enhanced when he is under anesthesia.
We have been amazed at the popularity of the video and have enjoyed watching others laugh with us. We feel truly blessed.
Around the same time as the surgery, Jason and I had started seriously considering adoption. We have felt spiritually led to adopt and have felt God’s guidance all along the way. We have prayerfully chosen to adopt a child from Africa. Although our family hasn’t started in the timing and way we hoped, we feel grateful for the tender mercies and blessings all along the way.
I have learned life changing lessons through my grief and sorrow. I know God weeps with us when he weep and mourns with us when we mourn. I also know he has a plan for us far greater than we can comprehend for ourselves. God has helped heal my grief and transformed my view on life. He has increased my love for others who suffer.
I know that family is far more than genetic make up and that many children our waiting for parents, just as parents are waiting for kids. Jason and I are both so excited to start our family through adoption and can’t wait to bring sweet children into our home, from wherever they be in this world!
Candice and Jason